When someone says “I have something very important to tell you”, you might feel uneasy. A lot of thoughts may have been running through your mind. Is there something wrong? Is there something that I should worry about? More oftentimes, you might be right.
The dreaded moment
What if you are the one in this situation wherein you need to tell something important to your children? That you and your spouse have already called family lawyers to finalize your divorce? How can you deliver this devastating news with as little drama as possible? Then again, it might be impossible not to have any tearjerking moments after you tell this crucial news to your children.
While divorce seems to be a norm in many countries including the US, it can still be a traumatic experience, especially in children. After all, no couple would get married just to hire divorce lawyers and end your marriage after several years. Unfortunately, this is a sad reality in many families for the past years.
The impact of divorce on children
It is said that up to half of married couples in the US have already gotten a divorce. The stress of hiring child support lawyers and spousal support lawyers can take a toll on you financially and emotionally. However, the emotional distress in their current domestic situation can affect the children twice as much. Children might feel it’s their fault why their parents decided to divorce.
At this point, you should assure your children that your decision to divorce is not their fault. Rather, it is a mutual agreement between you and your ex-spouse and that it can be for everyone’s peace of mind. Even if one of you has already remarried, you should still consider your children’s feelings to avoid conflicts later on.
How to break the news
First of all, how you are going to break the news depends on your children’s age, developmental and maturity. It is important to talk to them in a way they can easily grasp and understand what you are going through right now. There will be questions along the way and you should be ready on how to tackle that situation.
Nonetheless, this is one hard news to break. As a parent, you would only want to protect your children’s emotions and avoid any drama. But whether you like it or not, your children deserve to know. Here are some tips to let your children know of your impending divorce.
Keep it short and simple.
As much as possible, do not divulge the details. You can say something in the lines of “We have decided to divorce because we cannot live under one roof anymore. It is our decision and it’s not your fault why we decided to break up. But no matter what happens, we love you with all our hearts.”
Discuss which of you will tell the children.
It is important that you and your spouse agree on which of you will tell your children about your impending divorce. Ideally, the one who will be assigned to break the news should be the less emotional one.
Never play the blame game.
When you do decide to tell your children about your divorce, resist blaming and bad-mouthing your spouse in front of your children. As mentioned, keep the conversation as short and as simple as possible.
How to prepare the children on your impending divorce
Once you have already let your children know of the divorce, the next step is to settle everything to finalize the divorce. Make sure to hire the best divorce lawyers to help you with your situation. Child support lawyers should also guide you with the visitation schedules and the educational, financial, and emotional support your kids will need.
You should also let your children know of the living arrangements once the divorce gets finalized. If your child is 18 years old and above, he or she can decide which parent to stay with. Whatever his or her decision is, you should respect it. But if the child is still a minor, the court will be the one to decide that will ensure the child’s needs will be met.
More importantly, give the children time to adjust to the situation. It can be hard for them at first. But at the end of the day, your presence and understanding are important to help them cope with the divorce. In such cases, it is best to hire top-rated divorce lawyers in Fairfax VA.