When discussing spousal support, you have obviously ended your marriage, which is usually emotionally charged. Due to the emotions floating around, it’s easy for the negotiations to get out of hand, and you fail to reach an agreement.

Would you love to negotiate your spousal support without getting into a conflict? Here are tips you can use:

Use an attorney

If there is still bad blood between you and your partner, don’t trigger it, and instead of stepping into the negotiating table, send your spousal support lawyers instead.

The attorney is your advocate, and they will communicate effectively on your behalf. You should explain to your attorney why you can only afford to pay a certain amount, and they will relay the information to your ex-spouse and discuss what is possible and what isn’t.

Don’t ambush your ex.

Often due to the emotions involved in the matter, some people will ambush their exes at their place of work, restaurant, or any other place and want them to discuss their spousal support amount.

This is how it will happen. The partner that wants to receive the spousal support will walk into the office or even the other partner’s home and try to twist their arm into agreeing on the amount of spousal support they will be paying.

As you can tell, this isn’t a good strategy and often leads to conflict. Instead of doing this, get in touch with your partner and tell them you would love to discuss it with them. You should then agree on a convenient time for both of you.

When you let your partner know beforehand, you give them time to prepare for the meeting, which significantly increases the chances of you having a fruitful meeting.

Listen to your partner.

As much as you have already decided on the amount you should pay or get paid, it’s wise always to give your partner some attention and actively listen to their side of the story.

The last thing you should do is to force them into your ideas, as it will result in a conflict that you don’t want in the first place.

Be solution oriented

When your marriage ends, it’s easy to assign blame. Unfortunately, doing this doesn’t solve the problem. When you are negotiating the spousal support amount, stick with the discussion at hand. Focus on arriving at an amount that is comfortable for both of you.

Show empathy

When people part ways, they want to make the other party suffer. Due to this, it isn’t unusual to hear some people saying, “I’ll get him for all he got.” You shouldn’t go into the negotiations with this mentality as you often won’t make any progress.

The best way to do it is to show empathy with your partner. For example, if your partner is going through a hard time or they have plenty of responsibilities such as paying a mortgage or car loan, let them know that you understand what they are going through but at the same time explain to them why the amount that they are proposing isn’t enough for you.

For example, if you are working, accept that the other partner has responsibilities, but you have a problem making all the payments from your salary.

When you put it this way, your partner is more likely to listen and sympathize with you and stretch themselves.

Work with a mediator.

If you don’t have or can’t afford divorce lawyers Fairfax VA, consider working with a mediator. As a rule of thumb, ensure that the mediator has experience in similar cases and knows what they are doing.