When you make the difficult but necessary decision to get a divorce, one of the first things you must consider is the unavoidable cost. And it’s not about the more esoteric definition of “cost” (such as emotional or interpersonal cost) but about two critical resources: time and money. The latter is renewable, but the former is not.
Contrary to popular belief, divorce lawyers exist for a reason: even with the best intentions, persons going through a divorce are frequently unaware of the intricacies of the law, especially their rights.
Divorce is more than just sharing “stuff”; it is also about planning for your future (for example, retirement), assuring your children’s well-being, and generating equitable divisions of assets that are difficult to split.
The truth is that when you decide to divorce, it is usually because you are unable to bargain constructively within your marriage.
If there is an unequal distribution of power in the relationship, a lack of trust on either side or simply an inability to understand or see eye to eye, the possibility of amicably and fairly disengaging from each other is usually slim to non-existent, making it nearly impossible.
Whether you like the idea of a divorce attorney or not, you may need one.
On that point, here are tips for making the legal parts of your divorce as straightforward as possible and, as a result, saving you time and money:
Have clear goals
Not only does writing down your goals help you figure out what you truly want and need from this process, but it also serves as a reminder if you lose your way. Everyone becomes emotional throughout a divorce at some point.
Having defined goals allows you to keep yourself together. To have an easy time at the onset of a divorce, you should identify three things: what you need, what you want, and what you are entitled to.
If you are confused about this, get the input of a divorce professional.
Close any joint accounts.
Any purchases made from joint accounts might cause complications during the divorce process, and you may end up paying for items you did not purchase or spending a lot of money on legal expenses attempting to “sort out” what was pre-divorce and what was post-divorce.
Keep things simple. Close your joint accounts. Closing them is the simplest solution. Online accounts, too: chances are you’ve signed into your email account using your spouse’s phone, laptop, or iPad, or vice versa; privacy is vital now. Change the passwords or shut them down.
You should keep in mind that you should either (A) notify your spouse that you are doing this before you do it (so they don’t panic and think you’re raiding the piggy bank) or (B) take only HALF of the money in the account and inform your spouse that the remaining half is for their sole and separate use.
In addition to this, you should gather information on all of your assets and debts. You should provide the type of asset, its title when it was obtained (if known), and its value. You will want to do the same with your loans.
Real estate, retirement assets, automobiles, savings and investment accounts, certain types of life insurance, and costly possessions (such as jewelry) are all examples of assets.
Debts include everything involving creditors, such as mortgage or credit card debt and numerous types of loans.
If your spouse possesses such information but refuses to share it with you, it is a red sign. You should contact an attorney quickly. In such a case, your case is not suitable for mediation (unless you have counsel on your side).
Plan on custody arrangements
If you have children, you should consider what form of custody arrangement would be best for them. If you could discuss this with your partner before sitting down to settle your dispute, it would be ideal. You do not have to agree on everything, but you will at least understand how each one of you perceives what is best for the children.
Nowadays, 50/50 custody is extremely common. If one parent wants 50/50 and the other parent disagrees, the non-50/50 parent must be prepared to explain why the other partner believes 50/50 will be harmful to the children.
Be as precise as possible. Otherwise, even if you do not live in a state that automatically allows 50/50 custody, judges frequently order 50/50 custody even when one of the parents had little involvement with the children before the divorce.
Be ready to settle
Once one or both of you have decided that the marriage has ended (and, yes, it only takes one of you to file for divorce), consider whether you are capable of staying in the same room with your spouse while resolving all of your divorce issues.
If you believe you will break apart if you have to discuss settlement, focus on what is frightening you. Anger, emotional freeze, and a variety of other emotions are typically caused by fear. Those anxieties will benefit you in mediation since you will know what to focus on.
For example, fear of poverty is frequently addressed during alimony settlement discussions. Fear of your children not doing well as a result of divorce can often be alleviated by seeing how many children thrive while growing up in two homes.
If you can prepare yourself emotionally for mediation, you will save a lot of time, money, and trauma. Keep reminding yourself of it. Furthermore, if you refuse to sit down and settle, your partner may not wait. That includes lawyers and judges.
If you can’t do it, tell your partner you need some time to adjust. Therapy, reading about divorce, or even speaking with a mediator can make you feel better about the situation. Information is power.
Parting shot
These are some of the things you should do to make your divorce process easy, fast, and less costly. When you are hiring family lawyers Fairfax VA, ensure that you hire the most experienced and those who know what they are doing. This way, you get to have the best advice and guidance on how to go about your case.