As much as you are divorcing with your partner, it doesn’t mean that it should be messy. This is because you can reduce as much conflict as possible. Some of the things you can do to reduce conflict include:
Behave yourself
Although it may appear obvious, proper conduct is essential. This includes treating your ex-partner with dignity while retaining your own. Take a bite off of your tongue when communicating with your partner.
While you may not want to be in a romantic relationship any longer, and you may not always agree with what they say or desire, you once cared for them, and they once cared for you.
You must both be able to move on while accepting the outcome. Try not to regard the process as a means of punishing them for something they may have done wrong, in your opinion.
Be fair in your approach and ideas to them. This expedites and simplifies the process of reaching an agreement.
Some people say that they get triggered when they see their partners. Don’t communicate with your partner if this is the case with you. Instead, let your divorce lawyers handle it.
Be open to other forms of settlement.
If one method of resolution isn’t working, try another. Don’t assume you’ll have to go to court. The vast majority of separations may be addressed by agreement with a reasonable approach and attitude.
Approach these with an open mind. Be ready to listen to what the other person says and be willing to compromise.
It is rare for two disputing parties to walk away with exactly what they desire since, occasionally, concessions must be made. Don’t just go for the highest possible score at any cost.
You should be ready to compromise for the process to be conflict-free. For example, as much as you would want to get a certain house, you should compromise and get a car or any other thing.
Put children first
Regardless of your feelings about your partner, your children do not need to know or witness your bickering. With the correct care, studies show that children are resilient and can adapt well to the changes that come with separation.
When their parents yell and scream at each other, are barred from seeing the other parent for no apparent reason, or are fed negative information about the other parent, this has a considerably longer-lasting influence on them.
Remember that your children did not ask for your divorce; they love both of you and do not want to pick between you or disparage their other parent.
As you progress with the divorce, you should always think about the children at the back of your mind and do what is good for them.
If long court battles will expose them to the ugly sides of both of you, avoid them and resolve to settle the case in other ways.
Maintain an open line of communication.
You need to find a good way to communicate with your ex-partner, especially if you have children. Think about the long-term communication channel. There will be topics to address, such as selling the house, children’s birthday and holiday plans, and, in the future, possible weddings and the birth of grandkids.
You can agree to interact through text, email, parenting app, or once-a-month coffee date. Determine what works best for you.
Before you say anything, consider how the other person could interpret it.
As you are communicating, remember that written communication can easily be misunderstood, and your ex-partner can get triggered, and you don’t want this. Always re-read your texts and emails before sending them. Would you be pleased if you got it? If not, you should consider changing the language.
Let things slide
Is it crucial that your ex-partner did not return the item your child inadvertently left behind or that they were 10 minutes late dropping them off due to traffic?
You will eventually pay a high price if you spend all your time discussing these issues. This does not imply condoning bad behavior or recurring problems, which are never acceptable.
However, co-parenting can necessitate some adaptability. You never know when you might need that in return.
You should pick your battles and know what to attack and what not to.
For the process to be as uncomplicated as possible, you should try as much as possible to let things slide. If something doesn’t hurt you and doesn’t have much impact, it’s better to ignore it and let it slide.
Don’t talk to everyone about your case.
Regardless of how much you are hurting, you shouldn’t involve everyone in your case. As a rule of thumb, don’t engage any person who is not involved in the case. And, of course, don’t compare your condition to that of others.
Telling your neighbor about your dispute or disparaging your ex-partner in front of the other parents at school will only exacerbate the situation. It is best to seek counsel from your family lawyer.
Remember that when you talk badly of your partner with your neighbors or friends, the word is bound to reach them, and they might make the divorce process difficult as they try to revenge.
As mentioned, don’t talk about your partner with other people. Only talk about it with your attorney.
Work with the right solicitor.
Choose a pro-resolution family solicitor or one who specializes in conflict resolution. Solicitors have a reputation for escalating friction during a divorce to lengthen the process to their advantage.
Good family lawyers Fairfax VA will assist you in reaching an amicable resolution and will always strive to steer you toward a fair decision while minimizing resentment.
When hiring attorneys for the first time, interview them and gauge their style of resolving issues. If all the attorney is talking about is going to court and teaching your partner a lesson, it’s better to avoid them as they will cost you too much money and time.
To stay on the safe side, try to find an attorney keen on resolving the issue out of court.