The word divorce conjures up images of angry exes, drawn-out court battles, and drained bank accounts. While this is the case, it doesn’t have to apply to your divorce. To help you out, here is an amicable divorce checklist that will ensure that you have a peaceful and stress-free divorce:
Work through the terms of your divorce out of court
As much as divorce lawyers are valuable when going through a hostile divorce, it’s wise to stay away from them when you are having a friendly divorce. This is because lawyers are confrontational and antagonistic, and they can easily turn the proceedings hostile.
You can have them legalize the agreement, but you shouldn’t have them during the negotiations.
The right way to go about it is to sit with your spouse and agree on the critical areas of your divorce. These include: child support, spousal support, distribution of property, and any other vital area.
It’s only after you have agreed with your ex-partner that you should invite the lawyers. Besides making the agreements legal, they also will help you identify any areas you should have agreed on but didn’t.
Be honest and truthful.
In most cases, divorcing partners want to have everything for themselves. So they will try to hide as much as they can from the other partner. It doesn’t have to be the case with you.
To make the process easy, put everything on the table. Do you have any assets, debts, bank accounts, taxes that you would love your ex-partner to know about? Bring everything to the table and discuss.
When you do this, you gain your ex-partner’s confidence, making them less likely to complicate the case and take the issue to court.
The needs of the children should come first.
Every parent wants the best for their children, so as you are negotiating with your ex, always put the needs of the children first. Aim to make the children feel loved, and they shouldn’t suffer for the mistakes that the two of you made.
When discussing your children, you need to:
- Agree where the children will live
- Plan on how they will see the both of you. As you discuss this, think about birthdays, Christmas, and holidays.
- Sort out how and when the other family members, such as the grandparents, will see the children
- Discuss how you will finance the children’s lives and who will pay for what
- Discuss the rules of raising them and ensure that both of you are on the same page.
Accept divorce without blaming each other.
If you sit in most divorce cases, you will notice that most couples blame each other for the marriage failure. This shouldn’t apply to you.
For the process to be stress-free, don’t blame each other for the failure of the marriage. Dig deeper for the reasons for the failure, and you will find that it fell due to the mistakes of both of you.
Maybe you have, over the years, grown apart due to changes in interests. Or maybe you were so wrapped in building your careers or taking care of kids that you forgot to make time for both of you, and now you have become “familiar strangers.”
Regardless of why your marriage ended, you shouldn’t blame the other party for it. The right thing to do is accept that the marriage has ended and move forward.
Parting shot
These are tips on how to ensure that you have an amicable divorce. As mentioned, avoid involving family lawyers Fairfax VA during the negotiations. The best time to involve them is when you have completed the negotiations and want to formalize the agreement terms.
