If you don’t have money to hire divorce lawyers or feel that the divorce lawyers will cause more havoc than there is in your divorce, you might want to present yourself in court and serve as your divorce lawyer.

Can you do this? The good news is that you can do it.

As you do it, you should note that being your own lawyer does not substitute for professional legal counsel. Divorce, separation, child custody and support, property partition, and alimony are all governed differently by state law, so you should find out what the laws in your state dictate.

When representing yourself, you will be held to the same standards as other lawyers in your jurisdiction.

This means you must understand the regulations and the law, even if you are not a lawyer. Start by downloading your state’s legislation on these matters (or go to your state’s judiciary home page, which may include family law forms and material available for perusal).

You should understand the legal framework within which to discuss these problems with your ex-partner, as well as what to expect from your jurisdiction (the location where your divorce will be legally and formally concluded).

To have an easy time, research domestic relations law to learn which factors the courts evaluate in custody cases, which factors apply to splitting property and alimony, and how child support is determined in your area.

Regardless of the amount of research you do, you should note that online forms aren’t enough. What the online forms do not include, however, are some of the more nuanced subtleties for you to consider, such as what to do if you can’t agree on the value of an asset or the nature of your state. Is it an equitable distribution state, a community property state, or a separate property state?

This is where speaking with a family law attorney can assist in clearing up any confusion without taking over the case. Thankfully, some lawyers provide a free half-hour consultation; others provide a more in-depth consultation for a fee. Determine what you need.

Pros and cons of presenting yourself

On the plus side, presenting yourself allows you a lot of freedom and is the cheapest alternative. On the downside, despite the fact that you are not a lawyer, the court system expects you to act like one.

How a family case proceeds

Here’s how an average case proceeds through the family court system: The process begins when someone files a divorce summon and complaint.

One person is the plaintiff, while the other is the defendant. It makes no difference who files first, and just because you are the defendant in the case does not make you the bad guy or the person at fault.

Divorce cases are civil, not criminal. It is just part of the adversarial process that the person who arrives first at the courthouse to submit the case is referred to as the “plaintiff” and the other as the “defendant.”

Being the “defendant” in a divorce does not constitute a crime.

The defendant must next respond to the complaint, usually with a counterclaim for divorce. Once the answer is submitted, the case is assigned a docket number. This number is how the court maintains track of your documents.

Everything you give to the court should include the docket number, and you must transmit a copy of any documents you file with the court to the other side.

What is expected of you when presenting yourself

Depending on the state, you may have to attend one or two court-ordered classes. If you have children, you must take a lesson on assisting children in dealing with the consequences of divorce.

In most cases, the class lasts four hours, requires a cost, and is necessary. While a parenting class may appear onerous, it can serve as a valuable reminder to consider the impact divorce has on your children.

Although the course focuses on parenting minor children, divorce has a significant influence on older and adult children as well. If your state offers or requires you to take classes, make sure to sign up early and attend so that you all receive the same knowledge at the same time.

Getting the paperwork reviewed by an attorney

If you have finished all of the paperwork, before filing for divorce, you should have the documents examined by an attorney.

The purpose of doing this is to avoid any common errors the lawyer may notice quickly. If you file first and then negotiate, you will most likely be asked to attend a case management conference.

The case manager serves as an early monitor to see whether you can reach an agreement or if you will require court intervention to resolve your issue.

The case manager meeting comes up quickly, and you are under pressure to “settle” the concerns.

It is safe to assume that all family courts across the country are overcrowded with cases, judiciary funds are insufficient to satisfy the demands of the people, there aren’t enough judges or personnel, and court time is limited.

As a result, compelled mediation has become more prevalent. Remember to be friendly and patient with court staff.

You can consider the mediation route.

Mediation is a wonderful idea if you want to represent yourself and believe it would be beneficial to have someone neutral manage the session.

Mediation helps you avoid falling back into old behaviors and communication patterns that make you feel like your brain is about to explode.

The presence of a neutral party can assist you in achieving a peaceful conflict resolution that satisfies your needs, provided you know what those needs are ahead of time.

Mediation is often a cost-effective approach to maintain significant control over your dispute settlement process.

Before sitting down to mediate your divorce, don’t go in blindly. Instead, take time to get the advice of experienced family lawyers Fairfax VA who favor mediation.

As a rule of thumb, ensure that the attorneys are experienced and have handled several mediation cases.