Divorce is never simple, and it can also be complicated, especially if your ex-partner is determined to dispute their continued financial commitments. In most states, the law permits a judge to award spousal support, if a dependent spouse can demonstrate a need for financial support and the other spouse can pay.

Typically, your ex can only reduce their spousal support payments if they can demonstrate that their financial circumstances have considerably changed or that yours has.

In some cases, they use sneaky strategies that might put you at a disadvantage, and you need to arm yourself with spousal support lawyers to fight for what is rightfully yours.

This post will cover the most common sneaky ways your ex may use, as well as how you can expose and counter them.

Say that you are cohabiting, so you don’t need spousal support

A court may terminate spousal support payments if you remarry or move in with a new partner in a “marriage-like” relationship. If you have a stable partner and live in separate homes but occasionally see each other, your ex may attempt to terminate your spousal support by claiming that you are cohabiting.

While this is the case, your ex must demonstrate that you are cohabiting “continuously.” You can fight this by demonstrating that you have separate dwellings and expenses and live separately.

If you have these issues, find a skilled family law attorney to help you and show the court that you aren’t cohabiting, so your ex should continue making the spousal support payments.

They are experiencing a temporary reduction in their income

A decrease in your ex-spouse’s income may qualify as a significant change in their financial circumstances and may justify reduced spousal support payments; however, the payment should increase again once their income returns to normal.

Whether you and your ex obtain a court order to reduce spousal support payments temporarily or agree to it on your own, your attorney can ensure that the payments will return to normal as soon as your ex-spouse’s income returns to normal.

There is nothing wrong with allowing your ex-partner to reduce the payments if they got demoted or their business isn’t doing well, but you should capture it in writing that once they recover their footing, the payments will go back to what they were before.

When your ex-partner is thinking about quitting their job

Changing financial circumstances is one of the most common ways an ex-spouse will try to adjust spousal support. To reduce payments, the adjustment must be unexpected. For instance, receiving less spousal support may be possible if you are laid off or fired.

However, your spouse’s resignation shouldn’t be a “surprise” shift. Your ex cannot resign from their position, reduce their spousal support, and then go back to work. You can effectively contest any decrease in support payments by bringing this up with the court.

Your ex-spouse might show that you can take care of your bills

Spousal support is meant to support you as a lower-earning parent. If you recently got a job or promotion, your ex might go to court and request for termination or adjustment of the amount of spousal support they pay.

You should note that if the recipient has found a job that meets their needs in most states, spousal maintenance may be discontinued. Another option is to seek the court to decrease or cancel the maintenance, which will evaluate if the receiving party can adjust without undue hardship.

If you want to continue receiving support, you should work with your attorney and show that you still can’t support your lifestyle and, as a result, you need spousal support. Even if you have a new job, you can increase your expenses by moving to a larger house, having more hobbies, etc.

Best practices when discussing alimony

When you are defending your right to get the alimony you deserve, there are several tips you should consider to have a great time. These tips include:

Be reasonable

Making unrealistic expectations is one of the quickest ways to end divorce conversations. While the complexities of the many determined instances can be overwhelming, help is available to assess what is fair. Some guidelines serve as a backdrop or “anchor” for negotiations.

As a rule, you should never ask for an amount your ex-spouse can’t afford. Some people will ask for an amount meant to punish their ex-partner. You should note that this won’t hold water as your ex-spouse will still need to go on with their life, and they can’t put it on hold for your benefit.

Understand the spousal support advisory guidelines to ensure that you aren’t asking an unreasonable amount or making unreasonable demands.

Keep your emotions in check.

People may be angry, bitter, or resentful, feeling insulted and deceived. Whether justified or not, these emotions can impair your judgment. For example, you might ask for an amount that is too high in the bid of revenge for what your ex-partner wasted your time.

To avoid making decisions that seem correct at the moment but are not in your best interests, consult with your lawyer to examine the facts and make informed choices. You should let your attorney do all the talking if you have strong opinions.

Understand the purpose of spousal support.

Spousal support is neither a punishment nor a reward. Depending on the circumstances of each instance, the goal of support can be compensation or assisting a financially disadvantaged party with expenses until they can sustain themselves.

This doesn’t mean that you automatically deserve spousal support. If you can take care of yourself, you most likely won’t be awarded spousal support, and as mentioned, you can’t make your ex-partner make the payments simply out of spite.

Parting shot

These are some areas you should keep your eyes on and work with your family lawyers Fairfax VA to ensure you aren’t getting shortchanged. At the same time, as much as you want spousal support, you shouldn’t be unreasonable about it. Be reasonable and be fair to your ex-partner.